Mass Effect Legendary Edition: Intergalactic Renegade (Pt. 8)

The thundering rhythm of war.

War that might have been avoided had those in authority listened to Sordid Shepard and her warnings, but such is the cost of their denial. Denial that has resulted in the loss of millions of innocent lives. Denial that has rendered the entire universe impotent against seemingly invincible opposition. Which is why they deserve to watch their civilisations be extinguished, as they failed to acknowledge the staggering severity of this threat. Which would definitely befit one such as her. But the main campaign implores her to attempt to broker fragile peace instead.

So broker fragile peace she will.

Even if the salarians are repeatedly testing her patience, making her committed to their inevitable demise as they refuse to cease their scheming. The krogan have suffered long enough. They deserve to be freed from the shackles that have tightly bound both them and their future.

But those that have bound them would need to realise that greater issues than the ones they face exist, and that isn’t likely to happen in this universe or the next. Her adventures wouldn’t be nearly as eventful were she not required to navigate the confusing landscape of political aspirations, though. And their idiocy does afford a wealth of content. Hence why I’m not bothered by their incessant objections, but I am wondering how these civilisations ever managed to achieve anything but constant regression. You’d think that the lingering threat of extinction would inspire them to bury old grudges. But all that the salarians seem interested in burying is the bodies of their own people, as bleak as that is to envisage. It’s inconceivable how selfish they are. But maybe this is closer to existential commentary than I’d like to admit.

We should never have been alone in the fight.

Now that her revitalised character class has become far more formidable than it ever was in Mass Effect 2, I’m trying to decide which bonus ability best suits her approach. Notable considerations have included: Slam (inherited from Javik), Carnage (inherited from James), and Barrier (inherited from Kaidan). She’s currently using Reave (also inherited from Kaidan), as that significantly improves her biotic damage potential, but I’d prefer an ability that deals devastating damage to barriers. Not that I’ve found any matching that specific description thus far.

Besides Warp (which she can’t inherit).

Were I able to tear through the barriers of Banshees (and their accursed ilk), I could then repeatedly shoot the exposed flesh inside with a semi-automatic assault rifle empowered with Incendiary Ammo. A description that makes them sound like a horrific biotic space crustacean.

I’m definitely not buying one of those for her cabin. Unless it will latch onto the faces of her enemies (or their equivalent) and lay eggs inside them. Eggs that nourish themselves inside their fleshy chest cavity, and then burst out as baby biotic space crustaceans. I’m reasonably certain that’d be copyright infringement, though. But imagine if her space hamster could do that. There would be hundreds of furry friends crawling into the crevices. Henceforth, Sordid Shepard is no longer concerned with brokering fragile peace, and instead will endeavour to unearth the ancient Prothean technology that allows her to clone thousands of space hamsters. Such a thing must have existed. If it didn’t, it’s fairly clear why their civilisation was extinguished. They didn’t pay their adorable overlords enough respect to be deemed worthy.

Have a nice week, all!


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